Hello everyone, been quite a while, hasn’t it?  Since my last post I’ve been a little busy, truth be told I’ve just been pretty lazy to come back on tumblr and type up a new entry.  That being said though, it’s past 4 in the morning, I’m getting increasingly tired and yet there are some things on my mind which need to get out before I sleep tonight. 

As far as my anxiety goes, it has been very manageable the last few months.  My panic attacks are very few and far between.  I still do have my moments when I drive somewhere outside of my ‘safe zone’ or if I’m in a crowded store, but I’m slowly learning to bite the bullet, do what needs to be done, and congratulate myself afterwards. 

My biggest problem right now though is my future.  I’m constantly worrying day to day about what’s going to happen 5 years from now.  Where will I be? What will I be doing? And most importantly, Will I be happy?  It’s these thoughts that plague my mind on a daily basis, and make it hard to concentrate on the task at hand.  I feel so detached, so hazy from everything around me.  Perhaps I’m spending too much time on the computer, I really will never know for sure.  

I was always regarded as the smart kid in school, and at home.  I was a huge math and science whiz, doing algebra and calculus in my spare time, and thinking up wild experiments before going to sleep at night.  I came to realize today that those qualities of me are fading away fast.  I don’t know if it’s just a part of growing up and I should have to just deal with it, or if it’s because of my depression, and because of my lack of motivation and the fact that I spend day in and day out in front of my computer, focusing my attention to many different things at once, but for no longer than a few minutes.  

Yes, perhaps the internet in general has ruined my attention span, making me incapable of keeping focus on the tasks at hand. This will be noted, something I need to start changing. Getting out more, getting away from my computer more.

However, that’s a bit hard when most of your talents, and the sole area of your income for the last 9 months has been coming from.  This is where I would like to dwell to next.  The last few months I’ve gotten a couple different clients, seen my small company start looking like it’s going to take off, and saw a glimpse of profit.  I can’t relish in that accomplishment though. I’m always thinking about the future, about getting more and more customers and if this is really what I should be doing. 

You’re making money though, I tell myself.  You have a shot at this, you’re good at it, if you just put half as much attention into this than you do on your silly social websites all day then you would be making a killing.  I know, I know. But damn, my focus and my motivation is just thrown completely off.  I worry if I’m wasting my time, if this is really what I should be doing.  I’ve picked up a website project and a game design project of my own, something to do in my free time and potentially generate some profit if either get popular.  However I’m just kidding myself.  I know that in the end I’m more likely to stop half-way through it blaming my lack of motivation on the fact that this won’t be what I want it to, and leave it at that.  

As I type this I can’t believe that this is what I do, am I crazy?  Starting tomorrow, I need to focus.  I need to stop spending so much time on websites that do nothing productive.  If I keep doing what I do everyday, I’m going to be in the exact same place in the future that I am now.  More focus, more attention.  Less depression and less feeling sorry for myself.  I need to start finishing things, I need to start pushing my business and pushing myself.  Motivation needs to come from within me, I need to stop relying on others to motivate me.  I want to, I need to prove to my family and my friends that I can do this.  That I can make them proud, and start getting my life on track.  

I’ve said this how many times in this blog? Tons.  This needs to start happening though, I’ve procrastinated way too much, I need to start now. Before I know it, 10 years could pass.

Hey everyone. So, a quick update: The last few days for me have been hellish.  I don’t know what it is about this time of year, but ever since my anxiety started, it has really peaked around end of June - beginning of July. I’m scared to death of my heart racing and my stomach churning. I just finished getting over a massive panic attack and am currently writing this now.

I know it’s time to admit that I need help, that I need to see someone. But i’m stubborn. I really want to see someone who can actually help me, instead of just shove meds in my face and throw me out the door. I want to be tailored to, I want to be certain that what they give me will be perfect for the disorder that plagues my life.  Unfortunately that kind of service comes with a hefty price, and a long waiting list.  

I told myself that when I left my job, I would seek help and get back in the employment world.  That was over 6 months ago, and I’ve seen no difference since then.  My dad was talking to me today and pretty much told me that I really need to start getting help for this, and it’s gone too far. I’m well aware that sitting in my room all day is not healthy. It ruins my demeanor and my motivation, but when I have an elevated heart rate, and racing thoughts, I really can’t do anything else but shelter myself in my room away from the world and people, and wait it out hoping that the next day will be better, but knowing that it won’t unless I take action.

I’m starting a website along with someone else who I met via reddit. We’ll be creating a professional blog that will have both our personal experiences with anxiety and depression disorders, as well as research, tips, and other information from reliable sources around the internet.  So, stay tuned for that and we’ll have it up and running before my next entry.  Until then, i’m going to go lay down and relax.  I think tomorrow i’m going to start looking around for doctors. I may have to borrow the money from my parents to see someone for around 300 dollars.  Although, if this means that I can start living a ‘normal’ life, and start being a productive member of society again, I’ll take it.  I told myself when I left my job almost 6 months ago, that I was going to get help right away. Well, I need to hurry up and do that before all my money runs out, and I’ll really be SOL. If you guys are reading this, keep taking care of yourselves, and I’ll keep you updated when (not if) I get an appointment to see someone.

Hello everyone, it’s around 3:08pm on Monday, May 30th, 2011.  I thought I would write up a little blurb for today considering the fact that I haven’t done so in a while, and that I’m waiting on food to get here so I can eat some lunch.  

The last few weeks for me have been a rollercoaster of sorts, as always.  I’ll go from days where I feel happy, and joyous, and not as anxious as the usual, but then days after I’ll feel like doing nothing all day, like hiding away in my room and waiting for the sun to go down.  Today is one of the latter days, unfortunately.  

Though, I do have to admit the fact that these days are getting farther and farther apart from each other, and I’m able to pick up the pieces and carry on a lot easier than I was able to two years prior.  I’m able to control my anxious feelings, and I’m able to control my depression to a decent amount.  I really am trying everything to not go back to that place I was almost two years ago. 

I think I’m bettering myself slowly, but surely.  Therapy has helped me here and there, but unfortunately lately I don’t have the adequate funds to see a therapist on a regular basis, and so I’ve learned to deal with my problems on my own.  Well, not totally on my own.  The internet and various sites have helped me to address certain aspects of my anxiety, and conquer them slowly.  I’ve also picked up a book on meditation and the request of some people from various online anxiety forums.  I just started reading it last night, but I can tell it’s already made a connection with so many things that have been sitting on my mind these last few years.

As for the positive side of things: I’m keeping myself pretty busy.  I’ve gathered as much motivation as I can muster to try and make something (a business, enterprise) for myself again.  This time it’s selling website templates and websites through an online store.  Yes, there is a fair amount of competition, but I have really found myself a creative outlet.  I’m able to create these pretty good looking sites from absolutely nothing, and standing back and seeing my finished creation is one of the best feelings that I have.  Plus, it’s good for me starting up this business.

You see, I need a fair amount of sites before I open up shop.  After I complete one, and that feeling of success starts fading, I feel like an addict.  I need more.  And so it drives, it compels me to create another, better looking template, to get the same satisfaction. I think I finally found my niche. 

Anywho, this is where I’ll cut it off.  I’ll try and write again in the coming weeks as I prepare to open up my store, and hell, maybe I’ll even throw a link in here if you guys are interested.  I’m quite busy, and I love it.

P.S. For those who are struggling with any of the things that I’ve mentioned in this blog, or struggling with anything really in life, I offer these two pieces of advice:

1) Don’t quit.  You will regret the things that you do not do in life, more than those that you do and make a mistake on. Trust me. Have an idea? Go for it. People think it’s dumb? Ignore them. You think it’s dumb? Don’t listen to yourself, or you’ll fall victim. 

2) Talk to people.  If you ever need advice for anything, there are multiple places on the internet that can help you. Plus, if you ever want to talk to someone who shares something similar, you’re welcome to send me a message.

Hey everyone, it’s been almost a month since my last post, and since I’ve been procrastinating putting off typing a new one I figured I might as well get it over with.

First thing’s first, anxiety.  My anxiety has actually lessened up a lot over the last few months, despite only seeing a therapist once.  I feel like I’ve been given the tools to deal with this in my own hands instead of relying on someone else to baby through the process.  I’ve only had one real panic attack since the last time typing, and I haven’t had any dizzy spells what-so-ever.  My sleeping pattern is a little off, but I think getting to bed earlier a couple times should straighten it out. 

Lets talk about life now.  It’s been pretty stressful the last few months, and especially the last few weeks.  I know I say this a lot in my posts, but I really feel like I need to move out.  I feel like I’ve been 17 for the last almost 4 years, stuck in an emotional age barrier that I can’t pass.  I see all my other friends going off and getting their first places, living the lives that I long for more than anything.  

But you need money to do that.

I still think back to me quitting my job and wonder if that was the right decision to make.  I really wish I could change the fact that I don’t make decisions well.  I’m like that guy at the rental store, picking between two movies that he really wants to see, except that is with any choice I have to make.  Given two options, I will think heavily into the future, and over-analyze every little thing, until eventually it absolutely ruins my motivation for whatever I was going with in the first place.

For example:  I have been thinking about buying broken computers and selling them on ebay.  I’ve made a good amount of money doing this in the past a few times, so I figured why couldn’t it be a constant thing?  I got everything planned out, and put an ad up on craigslist, as well as emailed a few people about offers on other computers.  Here’s the bad thing though.  I’m already thinking that this can’t possibly be a good idea, and i’m sure i’ll invest more money than I’ll spend, and that it won’t be a lasting idea, and that I should be doing something better with my time, etc. etc.  And now I already feel unmotivated.  

Which is completely messed up when you think about it.  At least giving it a shot guarantees some sort of accomplishment, but my mind says different.  I start so many things and never even see them to some completion to give me more motivation to continue going.  I don’t want to be like this forever.  I’d like to break this habit soon.  I mean, I’m running out of money fast, my next bill for my car insurance will put me at only around a hundred dollars.  

I’m too scared to find a part-time job.  I mean, I really really really would love to work for myself than under or for someone, but can I really do it?  Ugh, these thoughts plague my mind like locusts.  I’m so used to someone giving me direction, or waiting for someone TO give me direction that instead of standing up and doing some shit about it, I sit in my little chair behind my computer screen and type to people like you.  

I’ll try and do my hardest.  I want to at least see some progress, some profit, and I’m sure I could keep going on.  I just want to get out of my parents house, and grow up. I want to start being the adult I would love to, and do something I love.  I want to start accomplishing things for myself, instead of working the minimum-wage ladder, kissing ass until I’m at a job I hate, working my ass off to scrape by.  I want to make it on my own, and while I have the time to put in it, I just…don’t.  And I hate every minute that I waste when I could be doing something to better myself, I just honestly don’t know what I should do.  This road, or that road, or that one, or this one.  I just sit here staring at the sign with like 40 arrows all pointing in different directions, and instead of saying “This looks like a good path, I’ll follow it, and hey, if something doesn’t work out I’ll keep on going.  If it gets worse, I can always find something else”, I just sit there with my hand on my chin and wonder what to do.

Hello everyone.  So I haven’t written in a few days mostly because I’ve been busy with a new website idea that I’ve had, and also due to the fact that I haven’t taken the time to actually sit down and write.  I’m a little busy today, so this may not be as long as I’d like it to be, but I’ll try my hardest. 

To start the last few weeks have actually been a bit of an improvement for me.  I haven’t felt really all that dizzy, and my anxiety attacks are getting few and far between.  I had to end up rescheduling  my therapist appointment due to the fact that my funds are a little dry this month, but hopefully by this time next month I’ll have a little more income to play with.  

I feel like I’m getting more confident in myself, and my ability to manage my anxious spells.  I find myself able to go to something as innocuous as a grocery store, or a friends house, without having to fear of having a panic attack.  The way I’ve begun seeing it is simply this: If I get dizzy or panic, I will leave.  I’ll leave and relax like I always do.  If I worry about it anymore, it makes the realization of it happening get closer to me.  

I have still been filling out the papers my therapist gave me, writing my thoughts and conflicting actions down really helps the healing and thought process.  I’ve also been going outside and getting more exercise (via biking, walking, etc) and sunlight.  These two things are extremely important for someone who is going through anxiety or depression.  I still get kind of dizzy here and there, but it’s mostly after I have spent a while staring at my computer screen, maybe I’ll see if there’s something I can do about the brightness and strain on my eyes…

Anywho, my show is back on, and I have to get back to the work I was doing.  I’ll try to write a better summary in the next few days, but all and all I’ll try to keep my motivation going, and see my project(s) through to the end.  Take care, AS.

I really need some advice in two aspects of my life currently, those being a job, and schooling. I’m 20 years old, and am not in college. I also lost my part time job 4 months ago due to a heavy relapse of my anxiety and panic disorder. Since that time I have been very anxious, and although I’m seeing a therapist, we have only met once, and only meet once per month. ( Next appt is in a week ).

Job) I’m getting nervous because my savings are slowly dwindling. I will have no money left by middle of summer. This frightens me because I have my car insurance bill to pay every 3 months, and without that I’ll be without a vehicle. I’m absolutely frightened to find a new part time job. I don’t even have the motivation to start, because I fear that I’ll have to quit it from my anxiety like I did the last one. Or that i’ll get sick on the first day.

School) The same above goes for school. I need a part time job to save up money for the community college (which I plan on going to first). I have no motivation to even start looking for grants or financial aid, because I know i’ll be too anxious to even start signing up for classes. My anxiety all began with school, so I have a real problem with college (even though I know it’ll be better than what high school was like). I don’t want to overload you guys with too much more, but does anyone have any advice for this predicament? I feel like i’m wasting my time everyday, just sitting in front of the computer not feeling productive. I would love to have a job, and love to be in school, so I can start making my family, and more importantly myself, proud.

So my last post may have been a bit depressing, sorry for my readers.  It just feels good to air my negative thoughts online.  Today I’m feeling pretty good, and am slowly getting motivated to do some things.  After thinking a good amount last night, I’ve decided to let my therapy run its course, and see where it takes me.  During this time I will put myself in situations where my anxiety may start to make itself present, but I will use my knowledge that I have gained to overcome those distressing feelings, and start having a more positive aspect on life.  I will also put up signs, and adverts for my computer repair and web design in an effort to gain some money during the time that I am without a job, instead of spending my days inside doing nothing.  I might as well try and make some money, and keep myself busy in the meantime!  

Have a good day, guys!

Hello again everyone.  Just to announce, this is my 100th post.  

I went to my therapist a week ago, and it went surprisingly well.  He is an older gentleman, and a Vietnam veteran.  He was telling me how he used to have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which is a type of anxiety disorder.  He did get help for it, and got completely over it.  If that’s not inspiring I don’t know what is.  He’s also been a therapist for 30+ years so I’m pretty confident that the guy knows what he’s doing.  

I’ll be going through CBT, or Cognitive Behavior Therapy.  Basically it is re-training my brain to accept the bodily signals that usually escalate into a panic attack, and let something positive come out of them.  Basically to give myself the confidence and security that what I have is real, and that I can get over it. 

That’s for the positive, now for the negative (which I should be more pessimistic, but I do need a place to vent out some anger).

I’m still without a job, and my savings is slowly dwindling away.  At this rate, I’ll be without money by mid-summer unless I can change something.  I have car insurance and phone bills to pay, so that takes up what little savings I had when I left my previous job.  I’ve been doing some computer work here and there for people, but nothing really intense, or anything involving advertising.  

Why don’t I advertise, or try to get myself out there? I have no idea.  My main problem right now is motivation.  I have none.  Would you like to know what I do on a day to day basis?  I get up around 1030 or 11, and I spend my morning on the computer.  I eat lunch, get back on the computer, watch some TV, hang out with my little sister when she gets home from school, get back on the computer, eat dinner, more computer, more tv, and sleep.  It’s a pathetic life, in my opinion. 

What frustrates the hell out of me, is no matter how much I try, or think, or rant that I want to, or am going to, change it, it doesn’t happen.  Everything stems back to a lack of motivation, and a lack of strength.  I may have mentioned this next part before, but just in case I haven’t I’ll say it again, because it’s something I think about a lot.

For me, school was awesome.  Grade school and high school, it was a set path.  You did what the teachers told you to do, and advanced from it.  Everything else was a piece of cake.  When I left high school (early unfortunately from my anxiety), I was still fine because I had to go to the local college at night, and get my diploma through them.  After I had done that though, my motivation went down the drain, and my anxiety through the roof.  

You see, no one really prepared me for what’s out there.  And what’s out there, is EVERYTHING.  When I thought about it, there are so many different paths to follow, so many different possible outcomes to situations that haven’t even happened yet, or maybe even would never happen.  My problem is that I always like to have something planned, to have a path to follow.  Seeing all these different possibilities make me completely freeze up, and spend my days indoors.  I have a massive fear of failure, mostly because I feel like I’ve already let myself, my peers, and my family down due to the things that I haven’t accomplished.  I fear going down certain paths, hell I don’t even start somethings because I end up realizing that I could fail, or it would be a dumb idea in the first place.  

At this point I feel like i’m ranting, but it really bothers me.  I quit my job, I dropped out of high school, I never applied for college, or scholarships, I’ve given up many times trying to start a business of my own.  I just feel like i’m going nowhere fast.  I don’t know what I should do next, I’m just coasting until something comes and pushes me along.  I would really like to know what to do next, to have someone point me out the direction.  I guess this is just a pipedream, considering I’m 20 years old, and no one is going to hold my hand through life.  I’m scared that they will though, that i’ll be coasting past 21, 22, 23, etc, fitting the stereotype of the guy living in his parents basement at 30.  

I’m too smart for this, as egotistical as it sounds.  I’ve grown up being told that I can do amazing things, and I can! I know I can make a difference in this world, and that I was put upon it to do good.  I just want to hurry up and begin my life already.  I don’t know what my next approach is.  Should I just wait and see if the therapy helps, maybe take it slow for the next few months? I already feel like I’ve procrastinated the last 2+ years of my life.  Should I go ahead and try to get some business with my computer repair and web enterprises? I mean, what have I got to lose?  Should I try and get a job anyway, even though my anxiety still is kind of out there? I would feel bad if I had to quit that one.  

These are the things that constantly go through my head, and while it may not seem like a lot of options to an outsider, there are even more going in my mind.  I just freeze up when it comes to these things.  

My friend had on his facebook that the majority of people feel more regret for their inactions, than their actions.  I can fully attest to this, I don’t want my entire life being filled with regrets of what ‘could have been’.  I would instead like it to be filled with my accomplishments of ‘what I have done’.  

Enjoy your evening, and I’ll speak with you again in another week or so.  

So I think i’m going to start using the date for titles, it’s gotten hard coming up with catchy or amusing ones for this page.  

The last few days have been a roller coaster for me.  Somedays are good, others I get dizzy spells again.  Basically what happens (at this has happened about 8 or so times in a year or more) is that I’ll be doing something, and get a huge vertigo attack.  It will feel as though someone pushes my head to the side, and my ear starts ringing.  After that I get extremely dizzy, which goes in and out for about a period of about two weeks.  It’s also worth mentioning, that after the initial dizzy attack I get a really bad panic attack.  My heart races for a few minutes, which makes the dizziness even worse and more frightening.  I don’t know if this is an inner ear problem, or a side effect of being anxious so much.  Kind of like a ‘chicken before egg’ dilemma. 

Imagine that outside of your house, there lurks a mysterious assassin.  Not one who kills, but one whose weapon is the ability to give you a fear so great, so powerful, that it makes you drop whatever you’re doing and RUN.  You have no idea when this assassin will strike.  Location, time, and duration are all completely random.  What would you do?  That’s how anxiety disorder is for me.  While most of the time these dizzy attacks have been while in front of my computer, a few of them have happened outside, and while I was working.  

I am extremely frustrated with how my anxiety affects me.  It has made me unable to pursue so many things that I’ve wanted to in life. And it’s insane.  I mean, it’s my own mind, I should be able to control it.  Unfortunately I can’t.  I really wish I could just will-power my way through this, to just beat it with sheer strength of the mind. Unfortunately from what I’ve tried, I just don’t have it in me.  

I’ve given up on so many things because of this. I’ve lost all motivation, and feel like I have been in a rut in my life for the last two years.  I’ve quit high school because of my anxiety, I wasn’t able to finish and get money for college.  I haven’t even thought about attending college because of this.  I lost my job that I had for 4 years because I was getting to hard to handle with calling out and being late to work.  I try and start things like websites and businesses, but they always fail because I lose motivation for it.  I wouldn’t be able to keep promises and appointments for people, how could I start a business until I fix myself?  I feel like my life is rushing past me, and I watch everyday how my friends are succeeding in school and getting dream jobs, while I sit on the side lines and quietly cheer. 

It frustrates the hell out of me.  These next two weeks that I’ll be spending while I wait to see my therapist are going to drag by slowly.  I wish I could find something to do, something constructive.  I feel like shit for just laying around and watching tv all day, trying also to spend less time in front of the computer screen.  Even such simple things as wanting to go down to the beach and metal detect instill fear in me. What if I have a panic attack on the beach, or get dizzy?  I would fear driving home like that, even if it is only twenty minutes away.  I can’t wait until i’m over this problem, until I can confidently walk around without a million fears and worries scrambling around my brain.  I hate being in a fog all day, where everything looks so 2-d and monochromatic.  I want to experience so much, I want to see myself accomplish my many dreams I have, and feel like I have accomplished something.  Well, I will keep you all posted.  Have a good night, and a good tomorrow. 

Hello again, everyone.  It’s been a couple weeks since my last post, and I thought I would make another and fill you in.

It’s been a roller coaster to say the least.  The last few weeks have been filled with ups, and downs.  Some days I’ll wake up feeling peachy and fresh, and others it is a challenge to roll out of bed in the morning.  This morning for instance, I woke up and felt really light-headed and dizzy, which of course got my anxiety going full circle.  I spent most of my day, as always, confined to my room.  I attribute the feeling I had to the fact that I’ve probably been spending a little too much time in front of the computer, and not enough in the open sunshine and fresh air.  Also, not to mention that my sleep cycle isn’t exactly the greatest lately.  

Currently I go to sleep around 2:30 - 3, and wake up around 11 - 11:30.  I’m fully aware that this is unhealthy, and yet it’s extremely hard to get the motivation to change it.  Alarms don’t really wake me up in the morning, and as such I don’t get tired until the wee hours of the morning.  This is where the ‘wearing myself out’ comes into play.  I know that if I get a really good amount of sheer exercise and burn up all the adrenaline that courses through my bloodstream on a daily basis, I would be nice and tired by say…12, and I’ll get an amazing night sleep.  Unfortunately this doesn’t happen.

I want to get away from the computer, I want to spend a day not confined by my electric cage, but it is rather difficult.  I spend hours upon hours browsing different sites, my gaze fixed into the glow of the LCD screen.  It’s a distraction, a tool used by myself to escape the fact that I can’t handle the outside world much.  It’s sad, really.  As much as I would love to go outside, and to do something that would make me happy, I can’t pull myself away to do it.  I find myself getting anxious at the slightest race of my heart.  Not only that, I keep thinking about ‘What could I do?’, what activity that I could do around here outside that I would enjoy.  I’m sure I could come up with something if I tried to, but I really don’t put my mind to it as much as I probably should.  And so I put it off, and I keep putting it off, making excuses for why I should be on the computer, and before I know it the sun has set, and darkness has pervaded the land.  

I’ve made an appointment to meet with a counselor sometime in the beginning of March.  The last appointment I was supposed to go to I had to miss because I was feeling under the weather (physically, not mentally like normal).  ’Like normal’, it’s pretty sad that I have to attribute these feelings to the normality of my day.  As much as I yearn and hope that one day I will be able to feel like I did as a kid, i’m sure it won’t come.  But, I guess that’s the large part of growing up and taking responsibility.  I just had wished instead of being preached that you can do whatever you want in life, and conquer any goals, that most of the time a curveball will be thrown your way, and your only option is to duck, or get hit in the mouth.  I sometimes wonder how things would have been for me if I hadn’t given up in certain things.  If I had stuck it out in high school, and finished with a diploma instead of having to go through the GED program.  If I had stuck it out and faced my fears, and gone to college.  If I had kept my job, and gone to work on time, and maybe started to get promoted (as I was told many times I would have, but my absences got in the way).  

This wasn’t what I had expected for myself at this age.  Yes, I know i’m young and I can change this.  Yes, I know i’m smart and I can work through this.  I just would like to get over this, and start accomplishing the many goals and dreams that I’ve set for myself, and that others have expected of me.  I’d like to start making something of myself, you know?

Anywho, I think i’m off for now, this has turned from a simple post into a five page essay.  I’ll end by listing the goals I have for the next week, and I’ll report back to see how I’ve done.

1) Limit computer usage to 5 hours per day. (Currently, it’s about 12).

2) Spend at least 3 hours outside, doing something. (Preferably constructive) 

3) Start putting up flyers for the business I’ve been working on, but losing motivation with.

4) Start getting up at no later than 10am.

5) Stop giving in to the feelings of dread and doom that happen when I think about going somewhere, or venturing outside of my room.  If I wake up feeling bad, kick it in the shins.  Don’t take it, stand up for myself.

Five simple things, I think I can manage that. 

I’ll see you all in a week, until then my friends, enjoy your day.  I wish you all the best of luck, as I hope you will do me.